<![CDATA[KAREN LOFTIS, M.S. LMFT ~ COUPLES & INDIVIDUAL THERAPY CLINICAL HYPNOTHERAPY ~ RELATIONSHIP & INDIVIDUAL COACHING

<![CDATA[KAREN LOFTIS, M.S. LMFT ~ COUPLES & INDIVIDUAL THERAPY CLINICAL HYPNOTHERAPY ~ RELATIONSHIP & INDIVIDUAL COACHING - Blog]]>Wed, 01 May 2024 13:04:58 -0700Weebly<![CDATA[Date in Quarantine!]]>Sun, 12 Apr 2020 00:31:18 GMThttp://karenloftismft.com/blog/date-in-quarantineSomeone asked me how are we supposed to go on a date while in quarantine. I know that this does sound kind of difficult. But there are many ways to still go on a date. You just have to be creative. I know by the end of the day, most of us are exhausted from working and taking care of the kids. And now we are supposed to go on a date! Yep, it is important to nurture our relationship while raising kids. One day our kids will be on their own and you don't want to wake up next to your and ask "Who are you?" So, I challenge you to give ideas and let me know how you go on a date with your partner or anyone in quarantine. Here are a couple of ideas. After the kids go to bed: Run a nice hot bubble bath with some wine & cheese and sink on in together. Or perhaps, turn off the TV put down the electronics and put on your favorite music and dance away until . . . You can even set up another room in the house with a late dinner, candles, music and of course your favorite attire (or none if you prefer). Remember no kid or problem talk. This is a time for romance and dreaming. So what's your date?]]><![CDATA[Golden Opportunity while in Close Quarters]]>Wed, 25 Mar 2020 21:44:10 GMThttp://karenloftismft.com/blog/golden-opportunity-while-in-close-quarters

While we are in the stay-in-home time period, all of us can become more stressed and feel like we are tripping over one another. However, this is a golden opportunity to take some down time and learn more about one another. Couples often look for resources to get started in creating better communication and connection. Here is a book that is very helpful "Eight Dates" by John Gottman from the Gottman Institute gottman.com Take some time out and read it together while you have the opportunity. You never know how it will change your relationship! If you would like more help in your relationship to Create Connection & Communicate, just drop me a note. karenloftismft.com

]]><![CDATA[Gratitude!]]>Sat, 21 Mar 2020 22:36:56 GMThttp://karenloftismft.com/blog/gratitude

Each morning when you wake up, write down five things or experiences that you are grateful. While you write these appreciations down, just breathe in and out slowly and relax your mind and body. Just notice how you feel. I appreciate sunrises and sunsets I am grateful for family. I always feel better when I do this process. What are you grateful for? Give it a try! Karenloftismft.com

]]><![CDATA[Take time to stay healthy! During this unusual time it is important to stay mentally healthy. Even though we can't all jump into a sailboat and float away. We can all practice mindfulness and meditation that can take us anywhere we choose to go. As]]>Sat, 21 Mar 2020 21:41:18 GMThttp://karenloftismft.com/blog/take-time-to-stay-healthy-during-this-unusual-time-it-is-important-to-stay-mentally-healthy-even-though-we-cant-all-jump-into-a-sailboat-and-float-away-we-can-all-practice-mindfulness-and-meditation-that-can-take-us-anywhere-we-choose-to-go-as

]]><![CDATA[EXPECTATIONS]]>Mon, 13 Feb 2017 16:36:13 GMThttp://karenloftismft.com/blog/expectations Valentine's Day is tomorrow. So what are your expectations. Everybody has them and it seems that everybody gets disappointed when they are not met. William Shakespeare quotes that "Expectation is the root of all heartache." The Dalai Lama quotes "The most compassionate form of giving is done with no thought or expectation of reward, and grounded in genuine concern for others." Dr. Steve Maraboli quotes "Expectation feeds frustration. It is an unhealthy attachment to people, things, and outcomes we wish we could control; but don't."
So why continue to expect from others only to be disappointed by how you believe they should feel or behave. I am wondering how this sets people up for so much disappointment which can lead to so much more suffering. Why do people want to create their own suffering? I wonder what it would be like to let go of expecting from others and truly just practice gratitude of what is!? I challenge all of us to let go of expecting. Perhaps when you do expect from others you can acknowledge and be aware of it and not hold on to it. I wonder how you can turn expectations into being grateful. Let me know your thoughts and your accomplishments! Are you up to the challenge?]]><![CDATA[When In Doubt]]>Mon, 30 Jan 2017 18:32:24 GMThttp://karenloftismft.com/blog/when-in-doubtThere are so many times that we are all in doubt. Doubt about what job to take, doubt about what to fix for dinner or how about doubt about whether to have another child, go out on a date, earn more income and the list goes on and on and on. This can leave us with paralysis analysis. People sometimes ask me what to do and sometimes I doubt whether I have the answer or not. What I do have is a suggestion to try something different than what you have been trying when you are trying to make a decision. Take a moment to sit back and practice self regulation. Now I know that self regulation may sound difficult but let me share with you now that it isn't. You are worth it, aren't you? You can close your eyes or leave your eyes open. Go ahead right now just take a deep breath counting to five. 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5. Now hold 5. 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5. Great now exhale slowly for 5. 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5. Awesome! Now notice after doing this process for three times how much more relaxed your body is. Notice each breath in and out. Feel your body relax a little bit more each time. Afterwards, you may notice that doubt isn't as strong as it was. It is in this relaxed state you can now evaluate what to do with doubt! Go ahead and give it a try now! Let me know what happens.]]><![CDATA[School Thoughts]]>Fri, 14 Oct 2016 20:58:04 GMThttp://karenloftismft.com/blog/school-thoughtsSo my youngest son Dylan, 21, who has Dysgraphia (a learning disability) sent this to me which really hits home with our family. Dylan struggled in traditional school since 2nd grade. Finally, by 4th grade we had an excellent teacher that recognized he was slipping too far behind through the traditional schooling. It was at this point that as a family we decided to pull him from traditional schooling and homeschool through Mountain Valley Academy. We were able to teach him a different way of learning. Many believed he would not graduate highschool however we are proud to say he did and is attending San Marcos State University majoring in Human Development. He plans on continuing on to his Master in Marriage & Family Therapy. He still faces many challenges in the traditional university system but continues to triumph and is a strong advocate in educating professors and people about dysgraphia and alternative ways of learning. He is an amazing young man who we are very proud of and excited to see all that he has and will accomplish!!

]]><![CDATA[First Time Blogging]]>Thu, 13 Oct 2016 03:21:05 GMThttp://karenloftismft.com/blog/first-time-bloggingSo this is my first time blogging. Not really sure about how to do this but decided to give it a try. So I asked myself what's blocking me from this experience? Well, probably the same thing that gets in a lot of people way: FEAR. What will I say? What will people say back? Do I really want to even take the time to think about what to say? Fear certainly holds us back from an experience because we are afraid of the unknown. Ambiguity can be scary for us all. Now some of you may be wondering how fearful can it actually be to write something down. Well fear takes many forms and paralyzes many people from truly experiencing something new. In therapy, I teach people how to relax, meditate and visualize how to let go of fear and move through it by accepting that is just an emotion that we need to acknowledge. As we begin to acknowledge this emotion, we can then begin to decide how we want it to motivate us and not hinder us. We may not know how it will turn out when we finally make the decision to not let fear control us but what we do know is that we have made movement. This is my movement! Will you move too? ]]>